I am writing this blog/page/site as a way to express myself. I am going to call the site – Online Diary.

I used to write diary after I left school, when life went bit quiet, the economics went slower it was more or less stagnant. To pass time, I began to write, all sorts of thing, mainly my thoughts and perceptions about the world, of a little provincial town. Lots of my school mates and classmates passed exam the year we left school and went to various colleges in the city; only I returned home and . . . .

This is going to be my self-therapy book  “talk to oneself”. Pages I started 30 years ago  in simple brown paper books went lost, since I moved about countless times in my home country and abroad.

If anyone is interested in my day dreaming state of mind, read on, I am here to share, my personal experiences and how I perceive the world we live in,

and here I start, have a wonderful life journey, namaste 🙏

If you can’t beat them – then join! I am not going to beat anyone up just join the crowd in the clouds, but where are they? What is my purpose of writing this blog?

Talk-to-oneself! For me personally, the purpose of life is to increase happiness. Once a friend asked me how did I manage, so far with all the ups and downs and seemingly pull out through alright – one thing came straight out of my mind – I talked to myself. Yes, I did and still do.

As a child I used to burn food and let the water overflew the tank, while I was busying myself with singing, dancing, humming – simply just being silly. I talked to plants, trees, animals, the sky, the sun, the moon and still do. I find it very soothing.  Why? Don’t know. It just happened. The friend then said, keep doing it – so it does not sound so bad after all.

I came to understand about THERAPY, when I started working in the city, very young, very happy and the world was at its most beautiful state, and it still is, for me personally. I learned that someone, would call themselves – a Councillor or counsellor, what is the difference? It sounds the same to me, nevermind.  They have been trained in college, in various profession as psychologist, psychiatrist, by listening to people, let them pouring out their thoughts, ideas, traumas, unresolved conflicts and the list goes on . . . . . . . .

And it heals people, is it? I have been talking to grass, trees and dogs all my life, maybe I am my own-self-therapist. Horayy!!!! Have I been trained? Nope, life has trained me from a very young age, 4 or 5 year-old I guess. War had trained me, death had trained me, nope, I haven’t been diagnosed as physically dead yet, thank goodness for that. However, I had seen dead bodies, people were tortured, not like in Hollywood movies, real pain, people cried without sound, weeping without tears . . . . . their whole bodies contract – with fears and sufferings.

Writing this blog is really good therapy for me, I have no subjects, words and ideas just came pouring out, and I start each paragraph and sentence without having to plan – Oh what a freedom! Professional therapists may choose to go to war torn countries and see if they can help, will their profession and expertise help people or will those stories change their lives back home? When they returned. Strangely, people from those areas, I mean third-world, oh, the Western world has changed this word now, you are not allowed to say, eg, so and so comes from a 3rd world, you can use “developing countries”. Yes, people from developing countries, seemingly contented with their life – I mean the majority, at least from my country and what I experience so far. Y is that? I believe religion and a way of life play most part in it – Buddhism, but Buddhist monks in my country eat meat! This particular point goes again the teaching of Buddha and “Thou shalt not kill” – Uh, I am going of track.

Buddhism from how I see, is not a religion – for me it is a way of life, we meditate, well I do; we forgive one another (yeb, most people do), very complacent, accept what is and believe in Karma and Reincarnation – funny, but yes we do. We believe that human being have souls and our souls live for eternity, evolve in a wheel – wheel of peace, wheel of evolution, I do not know the technical term for this wheel, and when one’s soul is healed and become whole, through the life cycle of the wheel, one returns to a BEING, without physical body; this being does not go through the learning of pain, fear and suffering anymore.

So, what is the polarity of this then? Pain, fear, suffering and other actions and emotion of similar category – CONTRACT your body. Smile, laugh, feeling of excitement, falling in love, get lost in reading and writing, opening present boxes, day dreaming to a wonderland, singing and being silly, strumming guitar string, bicycle ride deep in the wood in full moon, for me the list goes on . . . . . . . makes me feel that the Universe belongs to me or I belong to the Universe, or something like, we are ONE and ALL of the same thing;

My body relaxes, expands, getting soft, breathing deeper and feels good. It is as if my body seems to understand the mechanic of these feelings and unconsciously guides my feelings to take on activities that my body likes. Can we sum up all of these feelings as LOVE?